Dear J,

I know a place where we can watch the sun setting. I remember how you badly want to watch the sun setting at Manila Bay for it’s your bucket list but I refuse it for you have a memory with your past lover there. And it’s too late because you’re one month gone. Maybe I’ll watch it alone thinking that you’re still with me, that you still love me.

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Broken

I felt devastated when it comes to heartbreak. Funny how broken I am every year. Funny how I am always left behind yearly. Well maybe happiness isn’t really meant for me. Perhaps I was destined to be alone forever. And no one will ever stay for someone who has a fucking attitude. I think I can’t really change who I am. I’m stuck for being like this. For being a destroyer. And hopefully there’s a way left for me to change this. Only miracle can do it. For I don’t want to lose the love of my life forever. And I’ll think that this is not our end. Maybe there’s another book for us to be written by God. I have no choice but to let him go so I won’t distract his healing process. I don’t want to destroy him wholly. I now decided to set him free and I’ll move on even if it’s hard.

I Still Remember

I still remember the day we first met
At the aromatic coffee shop on the first street
With the bouquet you suddenly gave
To someone
Someone like me

Those flowers reminds me of you
Your love full of beauty and understanding
A flower that reminds me,
How blessed I am
To have a chance to cherish you in this lifetime

I still remember how you love staring at me
Like one of those luring stars in this starry night
Showering you radiant lights
Whenever darkness cripples in

I still remember how you sang my favourite song
With your voice that sounds like a whale
Just to make this girl fall
Fall in love deeper and deeper to you

I still remember how we danced
Under those clouds pouring all those rain
You made me feel like nothing
Nothing is sweeter than this

I still remember the way you talked
With your countless sweet nothings and daydreams
Your infinite dreams for our future
And those silly jokes just to make me laugh

I still remember the way you held my hand
Like nothing can tear us apart

I still remember how you always smell
Your kisses that take me home wherever

I still remember how you sincerely whisper
Those magic words to my ears

“I love you”

If only I can go back in time
If only I can give you some more time
If only I didn’t take you for granted
I always thought

“Maybe you’d still be with me”

Building our future
stacking them little by little
To build the Lego house
And dreams we only dreamt about

But alas, all I could do now is to remember
Remember those sugary sweet things you did to me
Those times and moments we’ve shared

But to my dismay, I still remember
How you did all those things to her
The girl you’re holding now
The girl soon to be your queen
The girl who you spend the rest of your life with

My love, I’m done
Forgive me but this time will be the last
The last time I’ll wish you were here
The last time I’ll ask those what “ifs”
The last time I’ll cry for you
The last time I’ll remember those moments

Now, all I need is not you
But freedom for myself
And let all these things be