Holding On

Just hold my hand when the darkness devours me and tell me, tell me that everything will be alright.

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Overthinking human

To the one who’s reading this,

I just want you to know that my day wasn’t good. I was too anxious during lunch break because I smell something that I hate so much in the conference room. I don’t know if it was coming from the smell of the soft drinks or it was me. Note that, I was with the workers of our department wherein I’m currently working as an intern there. I was shocked for I thought it was only my classmate, Sir Jayvee, and I were the ones who will eat there. I think we’re six in the room. After that, I keep on overthinking about the smell which cause me to sweat. I don’t want to smell anything that I hate, for the reason that it triggers me to depression because I was bullied back then same as the smell I have smell earlier and something worst has happened two years ago. I’m crying as I write this letter to you. I’m too shy to discuss it to anyone because I’m not good in speaking out my thoughts. I was really a silent and a boring type of person and I don’t know how to initiate conversation really.

Imperfections

I wonder what does it feels to be a perfect person— having an attractive face and a perfect body and the scent of your body that people will like. With that, you’ll never get anxious or to be deeply ashamed every time they approach you or whatever. You will never be their target in bullying.

One Hundred Words for Myself

I hope you finally meet the love of your life who will stay with you until the very last sunset of your existence no matter how hard life can be. I hope he has a lot of forbearance when you are having a tantrums or whatsoever you may call it because sometimes you are the hardest person to love. I hope he never fail to put a smile on your face and to make you laugh as crazy as if you own the whole world. I hope he always choose you and take care of you for you deserve it.

Love Letter for my Crush (Part 2)

I don’t know why I love to daydream about my future especially with you in it. Maybe because I’m growing older and I need someone who I can be with for the rest of my life. The future with you in it gives me hope to survive my everyday struggles in life every time I look forward to it. I’m not rushing things, honestly. I’m just overwhelmed with this feeling. I don’t know what’s the perfect word to describe what I really want to say to you. If fate will allow us to be together, I hope it will last forever. I’m tired of temporary. I’ll also be glad if I’ll see you inside the company where I’m working as an intern and will be gladder if we share the same department. I’ll get to see you everyday if that happens.

One True Love

How many breakups
or heartaches
will I experience for me
to meet my one true love?
How long will it take me
on this very long journey
filled with uncertainties,
and maybes,
and what ifs,
just to go to where you at?
Or maybe I’ll wait you then, my one true love
at the end of this tunnel
even it’s murky,
even it will take me to years,
just to be with you

Love Letter for my Crush

I know you don’t know yet that I have a crush on you. Of course, I won’t tell you that unless you tell me that you have a crush on me too. I like you since the beginning we exchanged messages online. I know it was a haste but I can’t deny it. I was amazed by your intelligence and your eagerness to learn something new and your positivity in life because you know me as a negative person and having a low self-confidence and maybe soon I will acquire all the positivity you have because you inspired me. It’s been a month, and you never get bored and you’re still talking to me. Honestly, I really enjoyed talking to you. I hope you never walk away like what others did to me.