Left Behind

As long as you try to remember the reasons why they leftyou will never have a peace within yourself.


South Paul

Isn’t it so wonderful to found the best person of your life? Someone who would go extra mile just to see you every day because seeing you completes their day. Someone who calls you all the time for they miss your voice that sounds like an angel. Someone who holds your hand like it’s really meant to be and kiss you like it’s forever. Someone who is thankful for your existence and feel lucky to have you in their life.


If you want to heal yourself, entering to a relationship will never save you from brokenness. The possibility of that is you’ll end up more broken than before. Healing starts from you, not from anyone else. It requires self-love. Take your time and enjoy the things that make you happy.

A Letter for My Future Someone

Hey, I just want you to know that loving me is like being in hell everyday. I admit that I still act as a childish person and you would probably curse me for being like that for I can’t change. And pushing you away will be the reason of you getting jaded by all of my ugliness. So you would wish that you didn’t meet me or loved me at all, or you would say that I was the catastrophe that you’d never want to happen again in your entire life. I want you to see how worst I can be only to test your patience if you can bear all of this. And if you can’t stand to be with me, I am always an open door with the possibility of you leaving me. But darling, at the end of the day, it is you and only your affection will lessen the monsters inside me that caused me to atrocity.


The moment that I deleted our past conversation feels like I suddenly have an amnesia. The photographs, the bittersweet messages, the feelings are now gone. And it no longer hurts, unlike before that I keep on reading them that makes me remind you every second of the day.


Sometimes, brokenness leads us to someone who’s really meant for us and that someone is also broken like you. And by creating good memories together is the only way to mend each other’s broken heart.


I told myself before that I will settle down at the age of twenty five but I think it will never happen as what I have think that way. I don’t have a boyfriend yet and I don’t know if I will have one and I will study for one year or for two if I won’t fail the remaining subject in engineering which is a minor only. It’s a minor only so why’d I choose to fail that? I’m closer to my dreams but here’s the thing I get afraid of, I get anxious when I’m surrounded by strangers, I always think that they will judge me because of my imperfections that’s why I’m scared to attend the class sometimes. But I will always choose what’s best for me and I won’t waste anything. I have been there and I will overcome it again. And I have this dream that’s burning inside my soul. I fucking wanted to work in Canada and meet the love of my life there once I get enough experiences to other countries because my Aunt says that I need to get work experiences to Asian countries before I go to Canada. Cross country something like that. So maybe I’m 24 or 25 when I go to Canada and have a work there. I would be able to help my parents in owning a house and lot and car. That’s what I want, seeing them happy and at ease. Without worrying where to get a money. I hope my plans will happen the way I wanted it to happen.